The Super University prospectus part 2

Super courses continued.

Course #2: MSH - Masters in Super Heroics.

Eligibility:

• Must be totally totally and stupidly honest and and put everything and everyone before self.
  
• Special abilities - optional.
  
• Money/power - optional.
  
• Aspiring to save the World - optional.
  
• To be able to constantly meddle in super villains' businesses - optional.
  

Course duration: 3 semesters.

Semester 1:

Compulsory Subjects:

• Getting in trouble 101
• Messing up repeatedly 102
• Long winded moral speeches 103
• Truimphant background music 104
• Heroic super name containing 'Man' or 'Woman' 105

Elective Subjects: (Must choose at least 2)

• Super Secret Hideout with a glaringly obvious cover 106
• Handsomely grand (for men) or Terrifically sexy (for women) looking costume 107
• One absolutely open weakness 108
• Appearing/Disappearing without warning 109

Semeseter 2:

Compulsory Subjects:

• Vast heroic exploits involving many people saved from dying 201
• Banishing terrible creatures to other planets/dimensions 202
• Averting mass destruction without proving your powers 203
• Beating evil henchmen 204
• Taking calls from the World leaders 205

Elective Subjects: (minimum 2)

• Advanced henchmen - Beating an evil army 206
• Rescuing hostages and blackmailees 207
• Grand sounding Swedish/British accent 208
• Being surrounded by hot specimens of the opposite sex 209

Final Semester:

Compulsory subjects:

• Getting yourself stuck in elaborate death traps designed by Super Villains 301
• Using subtle clues to find the Super Villain's super secret hideout 302
• Watching stupendously stupefied as your mate is being captured 303
• Beating sub-bosses in a variety of ways 304
• Getting captured by Super Villains, being put in the elaborate death trap and waiting till the Super Villain leaves the scene (Ha ha they think you can never escape their diabolical trap) 305
  

Elective Subjects: (minimum 2)

• Emphatically thwarting vast evil plans as Super Heroes Scream "Noooooo!" 306
• Getting your butt kicked big time by Super Villains until you are urged by someone to rise and kick their butt bigger time 307
• Sassy last words and sequel promises while posing with the people you save 308
• Advanced messing up - including almost fatal mistakes (very very important) 309

Final Exam: Successfully getting yourself between a Super Villain's grandest plans, pissing them off big time, getting yourself almost killed but ultimately thwarting their plans, plus end credits.

NesQuarX

I was so lazy that I cheated. (You'd have NEVAR EVAR EVAAR guessed it if I didn't tell you!)

Photos ahoy!

Somewhat of an ordinary blog entry for a change... Went for a trip, some glimpses.



NesQuarX
'Extraordinary' posts will follow...

The Super University Prospectus - Part 1

I've decided to open a college... I'm calling it the Super University... and all courses taught there will be Super Courses.

Course #1: MSV - Masters in Super Villainy.

Eligibility:

• Must be an evil genius or twisted mastermind
• Must have a number of special abilities
• Must be super rich/powerful
• Must aspire to take over the World. (Aspiring to take over the Universe is a plus)
• Must Must Must be able to piss off at least one Super Hero

Course duration: 3 semesters.

Semester 1:

Compulsory Subjects:

• Maniacal Laughter 101
• Wanton disregard for human lives 102
• Long winded arrogant speeches 103
• Apocalyptic background music 104
• Evil super name containing 'The' 105

Elective Subjects: (Must choose at least 2)

• Super Secret Hideout with a glaringly obvious cover 106
• Gruesomely grand (for men) or Horrifically sexy (for women) looking costume 107
• One terribly secret weakness 108
• Appearing/Disappearing without warning 109

Semeseter 2:

Compulsory Subjects:

• Vast evil plans involving many people dying 201
• Summoning terrible creatures from other planets/dimensions 202
• Mass destruction to prove your powers 203
• Hiring evil henchmen 204
• Addressing the World leaders 205

Elective Subjects: (minimum 2)

• Advanced henchmen - making an evil army 206
• Taking hostages and blackmailing 207
• Evil sounding German/Russian accent 208
• Being surrounded by hot specimens of the opposite sex 209

Final Semester:

Compulsory subjects:

• Elaborate death traps to kill Super Heroes 301
• Leaving subtle clues for Super Heroes to find the super secret hideout 302
• Capturing the Super Hero's mate right in front of his eye 303
• Choosing sub-bosses who will get beaten in a variety of ways by Super Heroes 304
• Capturing Super Heroes, putting them in the elaborate death trap and leaving the scene (Ha ha they can never ever escape your diabolical trap) 305
  

Elective Subjects: (minimum 2)

• Emphatically screaming "Nooooooooo" when you find your vast evil plans being thwarted 306
• Kicking the Super Hero's butt big time until they are urged by someone to rise and kick your butt bigger time 307
• Sassy last words and sequel promises while making your getaway 308
• Advanced maniacal laughter - including special effects (very very important) 309

Final Exam: Successfully picking on a Super Hero, pissing them off big time and getting your grandest plans thwarted by them, plus end credits.


Hurry and enroll, limited seats only!
We guarantee 100% placement even in the recession market!

NesQuarX

Coming up next: MSH - Masters in Super Heroism. (You'd have NEVAR EVAR EVAAR guessed it if I didn't tell you!)

Ode to Kolkata's weather - a Limerick.

You sure know how to tease for fun the shit out of me, hun...
The half-dark when I walk in the park, the stunning sun when I run.

But when you bring on the unexpected rains,
Boy is it worth all the gruesome pains!

That's why, you sexy thang, you're so totally my Number One!


NesQuarX

Hahah! Hell yeah! I've got my fix - have you?

Why am I wearing shades in the night?

My pet answers today:

1. Because I want to appear a total idiot. Duh!
   
   
2. So I don't have to see YOUR FRIGGIN FACE!
   
   
3. Shades? What shades? these are my upgraded eyes, w00t!
   
   
4. Two words baybeh: THE MATRIX.
   
   
5. Because you're too fair for the naked eyes to behold.
   
   
6. Oh these are not shades... And by the way... Nice underwear.
   
   
7. Oh damn... My cover is blown, AAAAAAHH! *runs away*

NesQuarX

P.S. Yes I did deliver all of them today... Man I'm so awesome >:D

Notes to self

Non-self people are free to skip this one...

• Blog has notched up to Google PageRank 3... Wheeee!!
• This post is more or less commemorative of that... Wheeee again!!
• I should post more often.
• Discipline is cool... indiscipline is way cooler, but clichèd... ooh, moral dilemma.
• I still hate being right all the time.
• Heisenberg was damn right, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
• Heisenberg didn't count me buying 2 identical cakes... Quantum Entanglement FTW!
• I am typing uselessly profound lines just to make this list seem more important.
• I should thank the folks for awarding me the 'Lazybutt of the year' award.
• I'm too lazy to do it.
• I love how I separate two parts of the same statement
• To form two statements
• Just to increase the Length of the list.
• The previous statement was 3 bullets long.
• I should manipulate my nomination for next year's 'Evil Genius of the Year' award.
• This list has gone on long enough.
• It can stop now.
• It's over...
• 
  
• Gotcha!

NesQuarX

Height of Self-Reference

NesQuarX

My second limerick

My second limerick was written with the purpose
Of being the combined noise that comes as I burp us.

Risking being obnoxious,
I belch words so toxious;

That the air around my corpus smells so like leper-pus.

NesQuarX

3 minutes flat... 1 minute to come up with it... 2 to find better words... Beat that.
A post made just to make a post... nonsense at its grandest purpose: Self-reference.

My take on the Indian sElections.

So le grand voting day came and went... I went and stood for two hours (paced up and down the line actually) to get my finger painted with a ghastly brownish-purple streak that looks more like smurf shit-stain. So anyway, after pressing the button on a machine which was strategically placed so everyone present could see where my hand went, I returned home - head hung with shame and guilt, with the knowledge that I've done my bit to help choose the hand that partakes in the running of our corruptocracy.

So why'd I do it you'd ask? Why that's so simple: being an egoist I can't just allow anyone to use up my choice, which would have been the case had I not shown up. It's just a point of pure selfishness that I did it. While the consequences of the act are worth far less than a nanogram (all puns intended) of cockroach-shit to me.

If you ask me (I know you would do no such crazy thing but let's imagine you did), I don't believe in the current election system... whatever happens here can be much easily and cheaply achieved by allotting the parties some open fields to battle it out... they already have enough ammunition among themselves - whoever wins gets to play the official arsehole for the next term. In fact even that'd be better than what is now, at least the violence will not affect the commonfolk... and the terrorists can form their own party and join the war, I'd love to see the faces of our politicians on that one!

How is the current system useless? Okay, let's examine the basic tenet of democracy - power to the people - so we're assuming that the people know what's best for them - do they? Of course not - the majority of this country is consisting of illiterate morons who'd vote for the local mangy mutt if offered a straight meal. This democracy does not work. It's just the political olympics, a time to flex muscles and kick around the blame ball... and nothing more.

So how'd have I done it? Simple, democracy can happen when the voters are aware - how do you make the voters aware? You don't, silly! Just allow the aware ones to vote! Let the number of votes per person be decided by sheer brains - have a computer adaptive culture specific IQ-EQ-KQ (intelligence, emotional stability and knowledge) test taken as a part of the voter registration, assign number of votes depending upon the percentile rank of the result.

The bottom 25% gets 1 vote per person, 26-75% gets 2 votes, 76-85% gets 4 votes, 86-90% gets 8 votes, 91-95% gets 16 votes, 96%-97% gets 32, 98-99% gets 64 and the top 1% of the population gets 128 votes per person.

The photograph taken during registration will be analyzed for facial biometrics and that would stop repeat/duplicate registrations (biometrics are unique, just block the registration of a biometric already submitted).

The polling booths are to be manned by the military (to avoid coercion), and it'll be mandatory for the top 25% to vote wherever they are (since the database is centralized, it's possible for anyone to vote from any booth, ID's will be supplemented by biometric verification).

And the sweetest part? Let the percentile ranks be private information, the top 25% voters themselves will be aware of their importance but no specifics would be given out (again, for the safety of the very high rank voters).

Repeat the process every year to keep the records updated (updation is much less resource hungry).

Well I can keep coming up with further details but I'm just not in the mood... except for... Oh damn! I forgot the basic point: Anybody scoring below 75 DOES NOT GET TO HOLD A POLITICAL POSITION. We can increase this cutoff as we go higher up the political ranks - the cabinet ministers may need to be from the top 5% only. Oh wow... I'd give an arm and a leg (figuratively duh!) for such a government!

Y'know what's funny? All of this is implementable within the current technological infrastructure we have! And y'know what's yummier? There is bound to be corruption, but most of the corrupt morons are not smart enough to fuck with the technology... hahah! Top that! Of course we'd have to spend a neat packet on hiring the best Indian/global hackers to design the security of the client/server backbone of the database and the security protocols.

Anyway, enough of the political wet dream... So I believe you get the point how much better it could be, and how bad it exactly is. That's the point I'm trying to get across - "This democracy sucks big time and it CAN be improved" eat that. And go to sleep with a full mental stomach tonight. Ciao mateys...

NesQuarX

Edit: I've had many of my esteemed friends giving this a serious thought (silly them!) and debating a lot many valid (and some obviously foolish!) points about the whole thing. If anyone else thinks of something to say: I'd like to have it as a comment as I believe that may actually help iron out the kinks in the feasibility or impossibility of the whole thing.

Dearest Stranger.

I had a dream last night.

You were there in it. You know how sometimes you see unknown faces as your dear ones and very familiar people in the roles of strangers? It was an unusual dream. As if I ever had any 'usual' dreams. But what was really unusual that there was nothing horrifically morbid, no insanely obscure symbolism that makes your skin crawl when you wake up, no piercing shrieks that punctuate the rest of the day, no impossible subplots that make you flinch the next time you hear a name. It was unusual in the fact that it was seemingly ordinary.

Unusually, I was me in my dream, and you were you, you whom I don't even know and you whom I had apparently spent half my life with. I know it's ridiculous, please go tell that to my subconscious will you? So there were we, two very familiar strangers, sitting and talking. I was giving you one of my lectures on the intricacies of life and you were giving me one of your shimmering smiles that dissolve all the intricacies of life. Helped by the afternoon sunlight hitting your profile obliquely and unfairly giving your eyes a life of their own. It was very distracting.

Nevertheless I kept drawing colourful pictures in the air and you seemed to be quite content plucking them off in mid-explanation. Neatly folding and keeping them with you despite my quarter-hearted protests. Even funnier were the silly creatures I drew on your skin who would busily disappear within your flowing garment, sometimes so impatient as to not even wait for the finishing touches to be added.

The setting, as it does all the time, changed randomly with the conversation. One moment we were sitting on a park bench surrounded with cheerful and self-absorbed nameless everyday faces and in the next blink we were walking along a dirt trail among some very tall, very orange trees. Here you were leaning on the fence of a paddy field waving to nearby farmer, and now, it's the railing of a huge busy bridge and you're pointing to a distant colourful sailboat below, still telling me animatedly how the farmer had always dreamed of going sailing in the seas among towering waves, which were breaking relentlessly below the balcony of the seaside house which we were standing on. The Sun somehow managed to stay put where it was all along, apparently delighted to play on your face and highlight random features. While the wind would often contest it, alternately blowing your hair and drape across your face. But in my opinion the wind was no match, perhaps because I knew that the translucence of your skin favoured the Sun way too much.

It was unusual that we would be bickering like we always do, about who was right, while simultaneously agreeing that we were both right and wrong. It was unusual that we would finish each others plates of food grumbling about our own plates like we always do. It was more unusual that none of us could help snickering while desperate to hold together our furious frowns at having our food violated like we always do. It was unusual that we were two complete strangers all the time, like we always have comfortably been.

Most unusual was how we felt tired in the wanting-to-set afternoon Sunlight, after chatting and sitting and walking and reclining and running for endless eternities, in that wanting-to-set afternoon Sunlight. How we set ourselves down in the expansive and lonely green meadow which seemed to stretch till the Sun itself. How you knowingly fell asleep in my unknowingly embracing arms and how I knowingly fell asleep with my head in your unknowingly beckoning locks. It was so unusual for a dream because it was so usual for us cohabiting strangers.

And now that we sleep the sleep of wakefulness, let me ask you once more; dearest Stranger, shall we dream now?

NesQuarX

Okay folks... I know this is not me me, and I have no friggin' idea which me is this me, I had sat to write something for the blog... This is what came... Not at all expected... But then again, I'm unpredictable, even to myself. (and not even one ellipsis, w00t!). Don't hesitate to flame me for this one... I totally deserve it (^_^)

Commentarium

I'm writing this entry because I want to keep a log of true conversations with myself (not like the last one I assure...) and anyone who enters and enriches the thread of thoughts...

I hereby open the comment stream of this blog entry as a free-for-all... and if you're reading this, I insist you leave your mark (attention fellow males... I mean 'in writing'). I personally intend to use it to the fullest extent!

Deja Vu anyone?

Okay... So I was reading my own blog bottom up (as every good narcissist should do) and I stumbled on the very first post... I'd written it to be a placeholder before I could actually find something to post and had given it no further thought till then... As I read it now - it downright cracked me up! Now I want you folks to be the judge of whether it's genuine humour or am I just being self obsessed as usual... I present to you - the first entry of this blog:-

http://nesquarx.blogspot.com/2008/03/post-eh.html

And let me know what you think... I promise* I won't give you the 'How dare you inferior human!' look!


*(don't mind the hand behind my back... it's just there innocently checking if one finger goes snugly over the other or not...)

NesQuarX

unQuotes are back

Weren't you missing teh unQuotes? No? Well here's a fresh batch for you to not miss!

' Just that day those aliens from the 5th dimension came to tell me about the recent space crunch they're having - I took pity and deflated my ego a bit...'

'Knighted - and later burnt at stake - all in a day's work!'

'I'd take a bow but I tend to bonk my head while getting up.'

'Since I'm just an ugly young burp now. I guess at 58 I'll just be an ugly old fart.'

'No problem for you who won't have to wake up screaming in bed beside me just to remember that's me.'

'Oh, I'll just have to find a way to turn awful into awesome like I do!'

'yeah... next thing you know you'll be shouting "LOL!" when something funny comes up in real life.'

'Procrastination? I was born 2 days late!'

'Smart folks tend to be purposefully random.'

'Catch up on life! Jump over it and roll on the ground! What the heck? Just speed things up!'

'Whatever I say... It means what you think first it means... it also means what you later think it means. It also means what you think it means when you look at it years later.'

'You think I'm not being serious? Damn right you are! But then again - one never knows...'

'I'm neither hot nor cold... I'm a Solar frostbite!'

'I speak fluent gibberish in 3 languages!'

'For me, bliss is when all the streams of thought cohere and are focused on different aspects of some single delightful subject...'

'A walk in the rain - dissolves all.'

'Going by my last bout of midnight snacking... I don't just have a sweet tooth, I have a full set of sweet dentures!'

'Any work is cool... as long as people don't stand on your head waiting for you to turn it in...'

NesQuarX

Ciao for now, see ya again after exactly 3 Xeconds.
(1 Xecond being exactly 1/3rd the amount of time in which I will be seen again)